So with his transformation complete, Stumpy has this week exploded back onto the stage of world cricket having spent the winter months pumping iron and pounding the treadmill. The much loved, but oftentimes, bungling figure of fun has reinvented himself for the 2023 season and now manifests himself as a finely tuned athlete with a steely determination to win.
No wonder then that Ladbrokes have said today that they are no longer accepting bets on Stumpy winning the annual Mascot Race, held each year on T20 Finals Day. The announcement came after scurrilous claims made by his arch rivals, Lanky Giraffe and Caesar the Lion, were finally shown to have no basis in truth. The pair had suggested that Stumpy’s rippling physique may not have been solely down to his efforts in the gym but results,made public today, of the urine test taken by Stumpy, have have completely exonerated Somerset’s favourite mythical beast of disputed nomenclature*
The new Stumpy has also been credited for being the principle reason for the success of Somerset’s bid to secure the services of both Cameron Bancroft and Matt Henry for the upcoming season. The antipodean pair have both stated that it had been a long held dream of theirs to work with Stumpy and so, when they were offered the opportunity to partner alongside one who now is so clearly dedicated to total body fitness as well, they jumped at the chance to sign for the club.
But it’s not just a leaner Stumpy who has emerged this week. It’s seems he’s meaner too. Admitting that Stumpy has indeed taken on responsibility for first team fitness, Somerset’s chief executive said he was unable to confirm or deny claims that three of Somerset’s most senior squad members were seen quivering with fear outside Stumpy’s office having been summoned there for apparently showing less than 100% commitment in a recent training session.
Gordon Hollins also refused to be drawn on allegations that one player was reduced to tears after receiving a dressing down by Stumpy for buying a sausage roll from a local branch of Greggs. The player, who was on his way to the ground last week, has not been named but the individual in question, believed to have been a former teammate of Somerset legend Marcus Trescothick, is reported to have commented that ‘It was never like this when Banger played!’
Stumpy, who was unavailable for comment this afternoon, will continue to be highly visible on match days. As well as retaining his traditional role of posing for photographs with youngsters, he is also expected to support those providing security to the rowdier elements of the crowd who gather in the Somerset Stand.
It’s not only rival mascots, therefore, who had better watch out!
*Arguments rage over whether Stumpy is a dragon or a wyvern. My advice? Don’t get involved!
Other blogs featuring Stumpy:
To read ‘Scooby Doo and the Mystery of the Deseted Cricket Ground’, click here
To read ‘Brian and Stumpy visit The Repair Shop’, click here
To read ‘A Cricket Taunt’, click here
To read ‘A Song for Brian’, click here
To read ‘My love is not a red, red rose , click here
Other Cricket related posts:
To read ‘A Tale of Two Tons’, click here
To read ‘A Somerset Cricket Players Emporium’, click here
To read ‘At Season’s End’, click here
To read ‘A Day at the Cricket’, click here
To read ‘The Great Cricket Sell Off’, click here
To read ‘On passing a village cricket club at dusk one late November afternoon’ click here
To read ‘How the Grinch stole from county cricket…or at least tried to’. click here
To read ‘How Covid-19 stole the the cricket season’, click here
To read ‘A Cricket Tea Kind of a Day’, click here
To read ‘Life in the slow lane’, click here
To read ‘A Cricketing Christmas Carol’, click here
To read ‘Frodo and the Format of Power’, click here
To read ‘If Only’, click here
To read ‘I’ve got a little CRICKET list’, click here
To read ‘Eve of the RLODC limericks’ click here
To read ‘It’s coming home…’, click here
To read ‘A Song for Ben Green’, click here
To read ‘Enough Said…’, the last section of which is cricket related, click here
A Jack Leach Trilogy:
To read ‘For when we can’t see why’, click here
To read ‘WWJD – What would Jack Do?’, click here
To read ‘On Playing a Blinder’, click here
To read ‘Coping with Disappointment’, click here
And to finish – a couple with a theological flavour
To read ‘Somerset CCC – Good for the soul’, click here
To read ‘Longing for the pavilion whilst enjoying a good innings’, click here
Some musings 
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