Stuck In The Middle With You

Well I don’t know how I’ll get through today
With all the patients that are headed my way
If I’m to see all those who are sick
My consults they had better be quick
Phones to the left of me,
Patients to the right
Here I am – stuck in the middle with you.

Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you,
And I’m wondering what it is I should do.
It’s so hard to keep this smile on my face.
I’m headless chicken like all o’er the place.
Friends to the left of me
Colleagues to the right!
Here I am – stuck in the middle with you

And then there are the patients who with coughs and colds they do their best
But no matter how they try they can not get a PCR test…
Test…

So with ambulances in short supply
To timely treatment now we must say goodbye
Outside of A&E’s they all wait
As staff inside must self isolate
Queues to the left of me
Delays to my right
Here I am – stuck in the middle with you

And then there are the patients who are left with pain that just won’t stop
Who none the less discover that they have to wait years for their op…
Op…

I’ll see patients who no longer can cope
I’ll see patients who have given up hope
I’ll see patients who no longer know why
I’ll see those who say they just want to die
Sad to the left of me, desperate to my right
Here I am – stuck in the middle with you

Stuck in the middle with you . . .
Stuck in the middle with you . . .
Stuck in the middle with you.

After Stealers Wheel

A musical rendition of this song can be found on my Facebook page on 7th January 2022. It is performed, in his own inimitable style by Lenny the Lion. But I wouldn’t bother if I were you.

And a hidden track, also recorded by Lenny and entitled ‘Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Mr Putin?’, can be found on my Facebook page on 12th March.

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For more song adaptations please follow the links below:

To read ‘The Wild GP’, click here

To read ‘A Hard Year For us All’, click here

To read ‘Baggy White Coats’, click here

To read ‘What a wonderful job this can be’, click here

To read ‘GP Kicks’, click here

To read ‘Three Lockdown Songs’, click here

To read ‘I am the very model of a General Practitioner’, click here

To read ‘I’ve got a little list’, click here

To read ‘On Call Days and Mondays’, click here

To read ‘My Least Favourite Things’, click here

To read ‘My Most Favourite Things’, click here

To read ‘Yesteryear’, click here

To read ‘GPs – Do You Remember?’, click here

To read ‘Summertime’, click here