HOW THE GRINCH STOLE FROM COUNTY CRICKET – OR AT LEAST TRIED TO

The folk in the counties
Loved cricket a lot –
The Grinch in the city though,
Simply did not.

And nor could he stand it when people enjoyed
The game, if those playing, a red ball employed.

He did not like cricket which lasted four days,
He did not like cricket’s traditional ways,
He did not like cricket when sixes weren’t hit,
He did not like cricket, not one little bit!

And so he decided, the time it was now,
To kill off the game, but the question was ‘How?’.
‘A change I can make’, said the Grinch ‘in a jiffy –
Is to stage four day games when the weather is iffy’

‘And matches will never at weekend’s be played –
To do so is simply not fair I’m afraid,
To people in business who often are piqued
When no hospitality’s offered midweek’

‘But I need a plan one that’s more evil yet
A scheme to ensure cricket fans are upset’
So he thought and he pondered – and then thought some more,
Till came the idea of the sixteen plus four.

A result of his thinking (so clearly deranged),
The number of balls in an over were changed,
A move I suppose that might suit those unable,
To ever have mastered the old six times table.

It then became clearer, the evil he’d planned,
He stole all the stars from each team in the land,
So leaving some counties with squads so depleted,
The games they then played saw them always defeated.

The format, he staged it, in August each year,
Leaving them cricket-less those who weren’t near
A city based franchise, whose team shirts they’d see
Adorned with the logo of snacks by KP.

Those watching on telly, obscured was there view
By hideous graphics of pink and green hue,
Those colours, to make you feel sick, had the knack
Inducing in many a migraine attack

And so he kept trying, that Grinch in a suit,
To push what he saw as his cricket reboot,
Hoping one day he’d fulfil all his dreams,
Of domestic cricket with far fewer teams.

But the numbers who watched on the TV they fell,
And ‘The Hundred’ lost money, or so I hear tell,
And those in the ground who spectated would be
Very much fewer if tickets weren’t free.

The format was picked up by no other country
(No wonder, ‘twas driven by factors just monet’ry}
And so the day came when at last the Grinch said,
‘It’s time for the Hundred to be knocked on its head’

So despite all the things that that fiend, he had altered
Love for the championship, it never faltered,
And even at games when the outfield was soggy,
Fans numbered more than one man and his doggie!

With apologies to Dr Seuss


Other cricket related posts

To read ‘How Covid-19 stole the the cricket season’, click here

To read ‘Scooby Doo and the Mystery of the Deseted Cricket Ground’, click here

To read ‘Brian and Stumpy visit The Repair Shop’, click here

To read ‘A Tale of Two Tons’, click here

To read ‘A Somerset Cricket Players Emporium’, click here

To read ‘A Cricket Taunt’, click here

To read ‘A Song for Brian’, click here

To read ‘A Cricket Tea Kind of a Day’, click here

To read ‘Life in the slow lane’, click here

To read ‘If Only’, click here

To read ‘I’ve got a little CRICKET list’, click here

To read ‘Eve of the RLODC limericks’ click here

To read ‘It’s coming home…’, click here

To read ‘A Song for Ben Green’, click here

To read ‘Enough Said…’, the last section of which is cricket related, click here

A Jack Leach Trilogy:

To read ‘For when we can’t see why’, click here

To read ‘WWJD – What would Jack Do?’, click here

To read ‘On Playing a Blinder’, click here

To read ‘Coping with Disappointment’, click here

And to finish – a couple with a theological flavour

To read ‘Somerset CCC – Good for the soul’, click here

To read ‘Longing for the pavilion whilst enjoying a good innings’, click here

And finally…

To read ‘How The Grinch, and Covid-19, stole General Practices Christmas‘, click here

3 responses to “HOW THE GRINCH STOLE FROM COUNTY CRICKET – OR AT LEAST TRIED TO”

  1. […] HOW THE GRINCH STOLE FROM COUNTY CRICKET – OR AT LEAST TRIED TO […]

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  2. […] HOW THE GRINCH STOLE FROM COUNTY CRICKET – OR AT LEAST TRIED TO […]

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