I heard this week of a community in Cornwall who have made a video of them all singing a song in the hope that it might attract a new GP to their village. Well, I thought, that seems like a good idea – one worth copying! So, since I work in a GP practice in Somerset, let me, with the help of the Wurzels, tell you that ‘We’ve got a brand new GP vacancy!’ at East Quay Medical Centre in Bridgwater.
We’re looking for a GP one who can tell
(Ooh ar, ooh ar)
When someone’s symptoms means that they aren’t so well
(Ooh ar, ooh ar)
This is guaranteed, with us you will succeed
(Ooh ar, ooh ar)
So won’t you please come doctor you got something we need
Cos we’ve got a brand new GP vacancy and if you really care
You can have your own consulting room – with a ‘wheely’ chair
We’ve got lots of patients, but one too few GPs
Cos we’ve got a brand new GP vacancy – and those who have disease
You’ll make us laugh, ha ha!
We’ll stick by you, and give you lots of support
(Ooh ah, ooh ar)
We’ll give you homemade cake – not stuff that’s shop bought
(Ooh ar, ooh ar)
With coffee every morning and tea each afternoon
(Ooh ar, ooh ar)
Better get your application in to us soon
Cos we’ve got a brand new GP vacancy and if you really care
You can have your own consulting room – with a ‘wheely’ chair
We’ve got lots of patients, but one too few GPs
Cos we’ve got a brand new GP vacancy – and those who have disease
Phwoor, we’ve got lovely practice premises an’all
The senior partner he has seen better days
(Ooh ah, ooh ar)
It won’t be long before he’s put out to graze
(Ooh ah, ooh ar)
And so you needn’t worry, grumpy though he is
(Ooh ah, ooh ar)
He’s old and grey now and you’ll have all that’s his!
Cos we’ve got a brand new GP vacancy and if you really care
You can have your own consulting room – with a ‘wheely’ chair
We’ve got lots of patients, but one too few GPs
Cos we’ve got a brand new GP vacancy – and those who have disease
We love them baby checks ha ha
We’ve got lovely practice nurses, HCAs too
(Ooh ah, ooh ar)
Our manager she is too good to be true
(Ooh ah, ooh ar)
Receptionists and admins, we all work as a team
(Ooh ah, ooh ar)
The only downside is a lass called Doreen*
Cos we’ve got a brand new GP vacancy and if you really care
You can have your own consulting room – with a ‘wheely’ chair
So stop your galavanting, there’s no need for a fuss
Cos we’ve got a brand new GP vacancy – just come and work with us
Ah you’re a fine looking doctor and we can’t wait to see you use your stethoscope!
The brave can hear a rendition of the song here – but be warned, the effect on you will be not dissimilar to that of drinking a sizeable demijohn of West Country scrumpy!
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=992478435047432&id=100028558551017
If the link doesn’t work you can find it on Facebook. Search ‘Pete Aird’ and look for my severed head sat in a pool of blood on top of a table!
Here is a link to the actual job advert
https://www.bmj.com/careers/job/158777/salaried-gp-gp-partner-6-sessions-east-quay-medical-centre/
*Doreen is one of our excellent HCA’s and, having helped me perform many a minor op, is in fact totally underserving of any tongue in cheek jibes. In fact she alone is reason enough to join us!
And if you know anyone who might be interested, do feel free to share! You can find out more about the practice at http://www.eastquaymedicalcentre.com/
For other medically themed songs for which I take full responsibility, follow the links below. Audio versions are available for those marked with an asterisk. There are others, but these are the least worst!
GP, GP, We’re So In Need Of You*
East Quay Medical Centre Madness*
Working in a Healthcare Hinterland*
Some musings 
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