Part 4 of what is rapidly becoming ‘The Chronicles of Hector’. Here are some festive incidents from the life of Hector- now 6 months old.
November 28th
Family birthday today – good to have extra help with the unwrapping!
December 4th
Can anyone translate – I’m not quite sure what he’s trying to say but it might have something to do with his having been taken out in the pouring rain. For anyone who can speak Labrador, I apologise for any bad language that this clip might contain!
December 6th
Once a Prime Minister has completed their first 100 days in office, it is not unusual for political commentators to review what that new premier has achieved in that time.
Well today marks the 100th day since Hector darkened our doors with his jet black fur. And so I thought that I’d reflect a little on what he has managed to achieved since joining us.
So far he has:
Destroyed a significant proportion of the plant life in our garden and left an unsightly hole in the already dismal looking lawn.
Devoured two and half very large sacks of puppy food and produced a seemingly greater amount of material that has had to be deposited in the conveniently positioned red bin situated at the end of our road
Disturbed over 90% of our nights with his nocturnal requests to have just one more moonlit stroll around the now barren flower beds.
Driven us to ever higher degrees of vigilance in a vain attempt to avoid a repeat of those occasions when he chewed up an unguarded paperback book or the straps of a dear friend’s rather expensive leather bag.
Covered the kitchen floor with his muddy paw prints such that our constant cleaning seems more futile than that of Sisyphus and his oversized boulder which, had he been there to ‘help’ Hector would probably have crunched into a thousand tiny pieces before leaving them strewn across the King of Ephyra’s courtyard.
Lain awkwardly across his bed in such a way that, with his airway partially obstructed, he snores so loudly and so persistently through the most tense moments of TV dramas that we can barely follow what’s going on.
And that’s just about it really – other than one last thing that he’s managed to do, namely to so endear himself to us that we wouldn’t want to ever be without him.
Which, when you think about it, is really rather odd!
December 11th
Dear Canine Behavioural Psychotherapist,
Judging by the holes that he has started digging in our back garden, my black Labrador puppy appears to believe himself to be part of the Leporidae family.
Should I
a) start feeding him carrots and have him vaccinated against myxomatosis
b) send him off to the circus in the hope that he can make a living in a freak show as the world’s only Rabbit Dog, or
c) concrete over the lawn and accept the fact that I was never going to win anything at the Chelsea flower show anyway.
Yours ever so sincerely but perhaps now just the teensiest bit exasperated…
December 12th
Dear Canine Behavioural Psychotherapist,
I’m sorry to bother you again but since our last communication, my allegedly intelligent black Labrador puppy seems to have taken, a little too literally, my assertion yesterday that he didn’t have a leg to stand on for his injudicious digging up of our back garden.
I say this as it would appear that he has now resolved, in his all too tiny mind, to try and eat his way through his own hindquarters. Having not come across such autocannabalistic endeavours before, I was wondering, should I:
a) allow him to continue unabated and reduce his daily food allowance accordingly,
b) check Amazon for a suitable prosthesis and, given his obvious enthusiasm for the task in hand, hope that it is available for next day delivery or
c) dig out my sons long discarded skateboard with a view to it forming the basis of a device upon which, when the inevitable happens, he can propel himself using only the power of his inherent determination to always move in the direction of food irrespective of how putrid the imagined tasty morsel might be?
Thank you in anticipation of having to correspond with you yet again in the not too far distant future.
Yours ever so sincerely…
December 16th
‘Sanctuary’ – for the dog who rolls in fox poo.
December 21st
Hector gets ready for his staring role in the local Nativity Play.
December 24th
‘Twas the night before Christmas and, at 4pm, when it had only just got dark, Hector got himself ready for bed evidently looking forward to what his stocking would contain in the morning!
He wasn’t, however, very good job at pretending to be asleep!
December 25th
Hector was pleased with his Christmas present – so much so he promptly destroyed it. Still I suppose it saves him having to write a thank you note!
January 1st
It’s early days but So far at least, Hector’s New Year’s resolution, to always wipe his paws thoroughly after coming in from the garden, seems to be going pretty well!
But don’t be fooled by his innocent looking face, he’s only gone and eaten the bloomin’ Christmas tree!
Ah well, it was time we bought some new decorations anyway!
Other dog related blogs:
To read ‘The All New Adventures of Hector’, click here
To read ‘The Return of a Dog Called Hector’, click here
To read ‘A Dog Called Hector’, click here
To read ‘A Farewell to Barns’, click here
To read ‘Dr Dog’, click here
To raw ‘A not so shaggy dog story’, click here
To read ‘On approaching one’s sell by date’ click here
To read ‘Scooby Doo and the Deserted Medical Centre’, click here
To read ‘Scooby Doo and the Mystery of the Deseted Cricket Ground’, click here
And a collection of theological writing written this month…
To read ‘An Advent Calendar – Complete’, click here
To read ‘The Repair Shop at the end of the year’, click here
Some musings 