A cricket team mascot called Stumpy

Arriving at Lord’s got all jumpy

Till R. Van de Merwe’s

Cure for his nerve-ers

Proved to be flagons of scrumpy.


Old Farmer Time’s all a muddle

Wherever he turns he sees double

Twins Ali and Trego

Plus Jamie and Craig O

Are sure to give Hampshire some trouble


A farmer from near to Bridgwater

Supported the county he oughta

So on Finals Day

He stopped making hay

And saw Hampshire put to the slaughter


Tom Banton, he strides to the crease,

He’ll give Hampshire bowlers no peace

Cos no one can fathom

How, with back still in spasm,

From six hitting he will not cease


When tactics demand change of tack

Rolef comes in to the attack

But success from his arm

Might do him some harm

When hyperextending his back


The captain is willing and Abel

And Hildy brings class to the table

With Gregory enthralling

When batting or ‘balling’

The day will be most ‘memor-rable’.