As some day it may happen that a victim must be found
I’ve got a little list, I’ve got a little list
Of cricketing offenders who might well be underground
And never would be missed, they never would be missed
The folk who whilst you anxiously are watching your team chase
Choose to throw a merchandising T-shirt in your face
The chap who really doesn’t see that there is any harm
In strolling lackadaisically behind the bowlers arm
The lads who when at cricket games in getting drunk persist
I don’t think they’d be missed
I know they’d not be missed
Chorus: He’s got them on the list,
He’s got them on the list
And they’ll none of them be missed!
They’ll none of them be missed
The ones who don’t appreciate the joy there is in scoring
I’ve got them on my list, I’m sure they’ll not be missed
And those who say the chat on TMS is simply boring
Those non-deipnosophists, I’ve got them on my list
The people who are want to make decisions that are poor
Like introducing formats that become the sixteen-four
The player who once used to play the county championship
Who now it seems is happy to employ the three line whip
And so has now become The Hundred’s prime apologist
That woeful nemesis
I know he’d not be missed
Chorus: He’s got them on the list
He’s got them on the list
And they’ll none of them be missed
They’ll none of them be missed
And those whose only int’rest is when batsmen go ballistic
Those superficialists, I’ve got them on my list
Who do not know the joy of every cricketing statistic
‘Tis true such folk exist, I’ve got them on my list
And those who when you’re up at night, ‘Come back to bed’ will call
Though early Aussie wickets at the MCG might fall
And those who seem to think that grassroots cricket’s just for toffs
(though sandwiches these days are seldom served with crusts cut off)
And those who say in August Test Match cricket should desist
They’ll not be reminisced,
I’ve got them on my list.
Chorus: He’s got them on the list
He’s got them on the list
And they’ll none of them be missed
They’ll none of them be missed
with apologies to W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan.
Other Gilbert and Sullivan posts:
To read, ‘I’ve got a little list’, click here
To read ‘The Very Model of a General Practitioner’, click here
Other cricket related posts
To read ‘Brian and Stumpy visit The Repair Shop’, click here
To read ‘A Tale of Two Tons’, click here
To read ‘A Somerset Cricket Players Emporium’, click here
To read ‘A Cricket Taunt’, click here
To read ‘A Song for Brian’, click here
To read ‘If Only’, click here
To read ‘How Covid-19 stole the the cricket season’, click here
To read ‘Eve of the RLODC limericks’ click here
To read ‘It’s coming home…’, click here
To read ‘A Song for Ben Green’, click here
To read ‘Enough Said…’, the last section of which is cricket related, click here
A Jack Leach Trilogy:
To read ‘For when we can’t see why’, click here
To read ‘WWJD – What would Jack Do?’, click here
To read ‘On Playing a Blinder’, click here
To read ‘Coping with Disappointment’, click here
And to finish – a couple with a theological flavour
To read ‘Somerset CCC – Good for the soul’, click here
To read ‘Longing for the pavilion whilst enjoying a good innings’, click here
Some musings 
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