Some musings

‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the nation

People requested Covid vaccination

And everyone asked, ‘Will this all last for years?’

And ‘Just how much longer will we be in tiers?’

.

‘Turkeys’, they told us, ‘They are in short supply

And some, in the shops, will not find one to buy.

But please do not steal one, do not borrow or beg

For a substantial meal, just enjoy a Scotch egg!’

.

Everyone’s anxious to have granny stay

But perhaps it is best if she just stays away

It’s not that the virus might make her life shorter

It’s just that she drinks so much more than she oughta

.

The medical centres were all hard at work

And phones in reception were going berserk

With calls to be taken from those indicating,

The hue of what they had been expectorating.

.

With seasonal sickness at an all time high,

No wonder some duty docs started to cry

As calls kept on coming, they looked with alarm,

And wondered just how they would cope with demand.

.

For nobody wanted on this Christmas Eve, a

Nasty dry cough or the start of a fever

As everyone knew how the days would be hated

By those spending Christmas whilst self isolated

.

So many they contacted their health care providers

Knowing that they were the licensed prescribers

To getting appointments they showed dedication

‘Twas simply a must to have right medication

.

The clinical leads, they checked protocols twice

(Ensuring compliance with guidance from NICE)

Relaying their learning to practice clinicians

On management options for Christmas conditions

.

There’s a tablet for when you’re deficient in joy

A tablet for when you’re not given that toy

A tablet to counter the courage that’s Dutch

A tablet for when you have eaten too much

.

A tablet for all of the stress of the crackers

A tablet to give to the washing up slackers

A tablet to help you put up with Aunt Jean

A tablet to keep you awake for the Queen

.

Whilst sitting on sofas and watching TV

And longing for chocolates that hang on the tree

By taking these drugs, nobody need fear

You’re sure to stay healthy right through to New Year

.

On Codeine, on Senna, on Brufen, on Zantac

On Statin, on Zoton, on Calpol, on Prozac,

And so that the cooking, guilt free you can shirk

There’s a note can be given, to say you can’t work

.

The Medicine Management Advisor’s away

I don’t think he’s working on this Christmas Day

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT

With Ralph Fiennes still not returning my calls, a dramatic reading of this poem given by Lenny the Lion will be available on my Facebook page from the morning of December 19th 2021.

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Other Christmas themed blogs of a medical nature:

For ‘How the Grinch stole General Practice’s Christmas’ click here

For ‘A Primary Care Christmas Carol – Stave One’ click here

For ‘A Merry, and Resilient, Christmas – a Personal View’ click here