‘One format for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the Land of Mordosh where the money lies.
One Format to rule them all, One Format to find them,
One Format to bring them all and in the darkness bind them’
‘And with these words’, explained Gandalf, ‘The Hundred came into existence’, The grey haired wizard was sitting with Frodo, his young hobbit friend. They were in the hairy footed creature’s home in The Shires and, having already taken second breakfast, were now smoking pipeweed together.
‘Bilbo had been watching The Hundred?’, the wizard went on. ‘He was falling under its power, being corrupted by it, just as all those who associate with it inevitably are – even those who seek to use it for good. And it will corrupt you too Frodo, and the whole of county cricket, if it is not destroyed.’
Gandalf stopped talking and, removing the pipe from his mouth, began to blow intricate patterns out of smoke. First the unmistakable silhouette of D.I. Gower, driving lazily to the cover boundary, then that of I.V.A. Richards, swatting dismissively through mid wicket.
A deathly hush filled the hobbit-hole and Frodo shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
‘But what can I do’ he asked, fearful of what Gandalf’s answer might be. Like a number eleven batsmen going out to bat with ten still needed, Frodo was eager to do his bit but he was anxious that he wouldn’t be able to deliver all that was about to be asked of him.
‘You must journey to Mordosh. for only in the land it was made, the land of those who long to destroy all that is good about the summer game, can it be unmade. But beware, your journey will be long and arduous and many will seek to thwart you in your task. There will be those who will tell you The Hundred is something good, those who will make exaggerated claims for its benefits and the entertainment it provides. But you must not listen to those voices, even if they are those of match commentators on the BBC. They are in the control of dark forces and are saying only what they have been told they must.’
Gandalf paused and looked at Frodo who was listening intently to all that was being said.
‘But there is a greater evil still’, continued Gandalf. ‘There is one you will encounter who was once a fine and spirited batsmen who played cricket at the highest level. But not any longer. Now he is a small and slimy creature whose mind, like his body, has been twisted by ‘The Hundred. Have nothing to do with the one who calls The Hundred his preciousssss.’
‘I will do what you ask’, said Frodo, standing up and moving toward the kitchen as he did so. ‘But first let’s have elevenses. It will give us a chance to catch up on the highlights of yesterdays RLODC final. I believe Darren Stevens has ended his career on a high’
Gandalf smiled at Frodo, confident that he’d found one on whom he could rely.
Other cricket related posts
To read ‘How Covid-19 stole the the cricket season’, click here
To read ‘Scooby Doo and the Mystery of the Deseted Cricket Ground’, click here
To read ‘Brian and Stumpy visit The Repair Shop’, click here
To read ‘A Tale of Two Tons’, click here
To read ‘A Somerset Cricket Players Emporium’, click here
To read ‘A Cricket Taunt’, click here
To read ‘A Song for Brian’, click here
To read ‘Frodo and the Ring of Format of Power’, click here
To read ‘A Cricket Tea Kind of a Day’, click here
To read ‘How the Grinch Stole from County Cricket – or at least tried to’, click here
To read ‘Life in the slow lane’, click here
To read ‘If Only’, click here
To read ‘I’ve got a little CRICKET list’, click here
To read ‘Eve of the RLODC limericks’ click here
To read ‘It’s coming home…’, click here
To read ‘A Song for Ben Green’, click here
To read ‘Enough Said…’, the last section of which is cricket related, click here
A Jack Leach Trilogy:
To read ‘For when we can’t see why’, click here
To read ‘WWJD – What would Jack Do?’, click here
To read ‘On Playing a Blinder’, click here
To read ‘Coping with Disappointment’, click here
And to finish – a couple with a theological flavour
To read ‘Somerset CCC – Good for the soul’, click here
To read ‘Longing for the pavilion whilst enjoying a good innings’, click here
Leave a Reply