As children we played. Not for one minute did we seek to impress those we played alongside – to try and play better than they did. We simply played and enjoyed doing so.
Then came school. And we learnt that we were in competition with our peers. But the stars that were once so readily handed out were, over time, replaced by less tangible rewards, and bestowed less easily as the tasks we were asked to complete became ever more complex.
And we were continually told to work hard – for if we did, it was said, we might do well. But even for those who did, there was always a next stage – and never a point beyond which one could simply stop and rest.
So first came university – where those who strove hardest secured the best jobs – and then, inevitably, work where the rewards dried up, replaced now by the threat of sanctions.
Instead of rewards for achieving, there were punishments – even for those who were simply standing still. Good enough was no longer good enough.
‘You must improve’, they said, ‘You must be better. You must do more’.
And then, finally, came criticism. Initially implied, then explicit. It wasn’t simply that we weren’t good enough – rather it was that we were to blame.
So we worked, harder and harder until, no longer able to struggle on, we finally stopped trying to prove ourselves. In our exhaustion we realised just how weak we’d become. That we’d finally grown old – and not only in years.
It would be easy to be angry at the system we’ve been sold. The system we bought into and are, even now, selling on those who follow on behind.
Oh to be carried by one strong enough to do so, to be cared for by one who knows how to love us, to be provided for, having only ever been demanded of. And oh for one who can deal with our shortcomings, who understands our weakness and, when we don’t know where to turn, shows us the way.
One who once said, ‘Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’ [Matthew 11:28-30]
