TIME

‘Rather than having always to pick yourself up, it’s better to be carried by somebody strong’

Last week I watched the second series of the excellent BBC Drama, ‘Time’. Whereas the first series followed the inmates of a men’s prison, this second series moves the action to a woman’s prison and seeks to relate something of what it might be like to spend time in such an institution.

It is testimony to both the superb writing by Jimmy McGovern and Helen Black, and the brilliant acting of Jodie Whittaker, Tamara Lawrence and Bella Ramsey, that one is left feeling sympathy for those who find themselves imprisoned. And that sympathy is not confined to those whose crimes seem relatively minor. For as well as those for whom a custodial sentence seems a huge overreaction, you find yourself shedding tears for those who have committed truly awful crimes, crimes that you can’t help feeling that, were your circumstances the same as those who perpetrated them, you too may have found yourself facing a prolonged period of detention for having committed them too.

Furthermore, despite the harsh and sometimes brutal environment, the prison is also shown as a setting where genuine compassion is in evidence. And not only from the kindly prison chaplain and the understanding and supportive prison officer. Real care and concern is also shown by many of the prisoners themselves.

Which is, of course, not all that surprising, for aren’t we all a complex mix of the good and the bad? Aren’t we all capable of performing acts of genuine kindness one minute, only to behave appallingly towards one another the next?

I know I am.

Ultimately then, perhaps more so than the equally excellent series that proceeded it, this second series of ‘Time’ portrays the penal system as not without some merit. And not only because, in a society that we all so long to be just, sometimes crimes really do need to be punished.

For whilst it is acknowledged that prison life can sometimes encourage individuals further into a life of crime, and that more creative ways to deal with bad behaviour than merely incarcerating those who act in such a way, need to be found, the drama also suggests that there is potential for time in prison to be genuinely redemptive, by which I mean that, appropriately supported, individuals can and sometimes do benefit from temporarily having their freedoms denied.

And perhaps it is similarly true for we who, whilst not doing time in jail, nonetheless find that difficult circumstances can sometimes be for our good too.

But what no amount of time in prison can deal with, and what no amount of suffering can resolve, is that all too real sense of guilt that we all inevitably sometimes feel.

And I don’t mean here those inappropriate feelings of guilt that we sometimes experience for things that really weren’t our fault – nor indeed that sense of failure that comes across us when we compare ourselves unfavourably with others who appear to be achieving so much more than we are. On the contrary, such pseudo guilt can generally be dealt with by a decent chat with someone who cares about us, or at the very most, a few sessions with a therapist who can help us think straight about what we are, and what we aren’t, responsible for.

No, what I’m talking about here is real guilt. Real guilt for real wrongdoing, such as was done by one of the characters in ‘Time’. At one point she was asked by the chaplain what she would ask for, were she to be granted a single wish. ‘I’d like to be able to grieve’, she answered, before adding, ‘but how do you grieve the death of a child when you’re the one responsible for it?’

How indeed?

Because grieving is more than simply feeling an appropriate intensity of sorrow, it’s a process one goes through by which one at least partially comes to terms with the cause of one’s tears. It’s a process that enables you to at last begin to make those first tentative steps that mark the beginning of you being able to carry on. And how can you possibly come to terms with what you have done, when what you have done, can never be come to terms with?

Likewise, how can you be forgiven for something that was, no matter the mitigating factors, wholly the result of something you did? And how can you be forgiven, when the one you have hurt is no longer alive to forgive you?

I remember being asked that question by a patient who once consulted me with a huge sense of guilt for her actions towards another. Actions that had irrevocably harmed the person in question such that they ultimately lost their life.

The patient had tried blaming others for what had taken place. She’d tried to rationalise what she’d done as something that, at the time, had been for the best. But neither of these two strategies had worked for her. And this was simply because she knew her actions were objectively wrong and that she was the one on whom the responsibility for her bad behaviour ultimately lay.

So what did I say to this individual who was genuinely guilty, this individual who longed for forgiveness but feared that it would never be hers to experience?

Well I’ll tell you what I didn’t say. I didn’t say that what she’d done wasn’t really all that bad. And I didn’t say that what she’d done was now like so much water under the bridge that it no longer mattered. And neither did I say that it was time now for her to simply forgive herself. Firstly because she knew that, however well-meant such foolish advice might be, the giving of it would fail to resolve the deep seated sense of guilt that she knew it was appropriate for her to feel. And secondly, how can one possibly forgive yourself when you are not the person injured by your actions?

So what than can be said to those whose guilt is real, to those whose guilt is not that whinny manifestation of something that is really no more than a dislike of how their guilt makes them feel? What can be said to those whose guilt is an honest recognition of the seriousness of their actions and which, rather than trying to rationalise it away, accepts the full responsibility for what it is that has been done?

Well there is hope for we who know how this all feels. But the solution is neither to punish ourselves by living a life of perpetual self-loathing. Nor is it to try to chalk up enough good works, in the forlorn hope that our good deeds will ultimately outweigh the wrong that we have done.

Instead then of looking within ourselves, we need to look outside of ourselves – specifically to a green hill far away on which a man was crucified.

For this man was one who willingly suffered and died in the place of guilty sinners. He took the responsibility for all that rightly causes them to feel guilty, bearing their punishment for them, the punishment that justice rightly demands.

And just as it’s better to be carried by somebody strong, than trying always to pick yourself up, it’s better to be forgiven by the one who has the authority to do so, than vainly attempting to forgive yourself.

For those who know what it is to feel guilty, this is good news – the best news possible. And so it is hard to understand why anyone would not want to hear it, especially as the circumstances of Jesus death and subsequent resurrection, far from being just a lovely story, are in fact rooted in history and confirmed as real events by the overwhelming evidence of the empty tomb, credible eyewitness testimony of those who saw Jesus after he was raised from the dead, and the authoritative word of the one who spoke the universe into existent.

Perhaps Christianity is unpopular because it acknowledges that there is such a thing as right and wrong and is offensive enough to say that our guilty feelings are therefore, wholly appropriate. But since guilt is something that, however much we might pretend otherwise, we all still experience, something that, despite our attempts to cover up, deny or make peace with, still leaves us feeling its reality, might not Christianity, with all it’s claims of an objective solution to our objective problem be something worth considering.

Recently I heard of somebody who had no idea that Easter had anything to do with Jesus. Which leaves me wondering if there is a generation or two out there that is made up of those who, if they have rejected Christianity at all, have done so without any real idea of what it is they have rejected.

Which as well as being a terrible indictment on folk like me who have failed to effectively communicate the gospel, is also a tragedy, since many are the guilty who have had to continue to live in shame without ever knowing the joy of having been forgiven.

For which of us wouldn’t want to know the good news that there really is an answer to that gnawing sense of failure, who wouldn’t want to know that even now, there is ‘no condemnation for those who are in Christ’ [Romans 8:1].

And whilst it is true that the effects of the wrong things we’ve done may continue, for ourselves as well as for those we’ve harmed, it remains the case that the one who can deal with our guilt has also promised to deal with the consequences of our misdeeds.

Because as well as promising us forgiveness, God has promised that a day is coming when every tear will be washed away and death will be no more [Revelation 21:4].

There is, therefore, hope – not only for us but also for those who we have hurt so badly.

Christianity claims to be objectively true. Surely then, everyone ought, at least once in their life, objectively consider its claims.

And for those imprisoned by guilt, for those who long to be free, perhaps the time for doing just that is right now!

[‘Time’ is available to view on the BBC iPlayer – and is very well worth a watch]

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