There’s a saying that goes, ‘New house, new baby’. Less well known is the one that goes: ‘New job, new puppy’!
A dog, as we all know, is for life, not just for August Bank Holiday Mondays when no county cricket is being played, a day which, though considerably less joyful than the one that marks the pinnacle of the festive season, appears now to be a date fixed in the calendar just as surely as Christmas Day itself.
Even so, with the One Day Cup semifinals unaccountably being played the day after the Bank Holiday, when many supporters would, regrettably, have been back at work, I took the opportunity afforded by a Monday without gainful employment to pick up our new puppy. And so, in one fell swoop, I foiled the nefarious plans of those who seemingly wish to bring about the demise of county cricket by their bizarre scheduling of this year’s fixtures.
Because, of course, my action means that, in addition to the countless men, women and children who, with or without canine accompaniment, have enjoyed county cricket this season, there’ll be at least one more man and his dog enjoying the simple pleasures of the summer game when April comes around again next year.
So ha!
But leaving all that aside, here are some other things you need to know about Hector.
1. The son of King Priam and Queen Hecuba, he was, apparently, the least annoying of all Greek heroes and the greatest of all the Trojan warriors. He was eventually killed by Achilles. In Greek mythology he was famous for wearing a particular sturdy helmet, so he shouldn’t be fazed by any short pitched bowling should Somerset, or any other team significantly depleted teams by The Hundred, ever come calling.
2. His middle name is ‘Watching the gathering crowds’ – a reference to Debden Jubilee, the erstwhile news reporter from ‘On The Hour’, that wonderful radio comedy of the early 1990s. Though the moniker is, perhaps, a bit of a mouthful, it is still considerably shorter than that of our last dog, Barney, whose middle name was ‘Don’t drive that Rhino up a tree, it’s fallen death will shame your people’. Chris Morris, Steve Coogan and Armando Iannucci have a lot to answer for!
3. He’s the third dog that we’ve owned since getting married, and he thus fulfils the promise strangely omitted from our marriage vows that stated that we would have a dog for every child that was born to us. Our son, the youngest of our three children is now 25, so it’s taken a bit of time to make good on that particular pledge!
4. 14 months on from when we said ‘a farewell to Barns’, Hector has very big paws to fill – even so, as the newest member of our family, we think he’ll be every bit as lovely.
So far Hector has settled in extremely well. True he needs to be reminded not to help when it comes to picking the flowers in the garden, and does, when excited, have the occasional accident – but hey isn’t that true for all of us as we get a little older! He has also been the much needed incentive to kickstart the decluttering of our home – this is on account of how adept he is at commandeering sundry items we’ve left lying on the floor and then finding them more helpful than the teething toys we’ve bought him, at some expense mark you, to cope with that particular issue.
For all that though he’s a happy, playful soul who is great company and a joy to have around.
I shall enjoy taking him to watch Somerset play. Sadly he won’t be fully vaccinated in time for their final game of the season against Kent next month – but at least, having already mastered the rudiments of the game, he’ll be able to watch the match via the livestream on YouTube!
Mind you there have, of late, been some strange things taking place in the town where I live. Crime has plummeted this past week with reports coming in that a caped vigilante has been seen patrolling the mean streets of Wellington throughout the hours of darkness. Furthermore, contrary to our expectations, our sleep has NOT been disturbed by the sound of a puppy crying because he has been left alone in the kitchen overnight. It’s like he’s not even there.
Coincidence? I think not.
By day, the mild mannered Hector, by night… Batdog™ !
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The problem with black Labradors is that they don’t show up terribly well in the dark. That’s why we’ve supplied Hector with these rather natty occular accoutrements. Not only can we now see him at reduced lighting levels but he’s also in with a chance of winning ‘The dog with the most appealing eyes’.
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And then, looking down at the sinister creature that she had once again been forced to drag from the very much out of bounds settee, Little Red Riding Hood said:
‘Oh what wild staring eyes you have Hector!’
‘All the better to strike fear into the hearts of those upon whom I fix my gaze, my dear’
‘Oh what inky black fur you have Hector!
‘All the better for lurking in the shadows, my nefarious deeds to pursue unnoticed, my dear’
‘And oh what tiny sharp teeth you have Hector!’
‘All the better to rip the flesh from your invitingly exposed upper limbs, my dear’.
Little Red Riding Hood paused a moment to reappraise her feelings on the issue of canine couch convention and then, having plumped up the two soft cushions of the aforementioned three seated sofa, proceeded to invite the hound to make himself comfortable.
And that, she knew, as she curled up in the long since abandoned dog basket in the corner of the room, was the beginning of…
THE END.
Little Red Riding Hood subsequently took ill – you can find out how she got on seeking medical attention by clicking here
To read ‘The Return of a Dog Called Hector’, click here
Other dog related blogs – several featuring Barney our much loved old Labrador who died last summer.
To read ‘A Farewell to Barns’, click here
To read ‘Dr Dog’, click here
To raw ‘A not so shaggy dog story’, click here
To read ‘On approaching one’s sell by date’ click here
To read ‘Scooby Doo and the Deserted Medical Centre’, click here
To read ‘Scooby Doo and the Mystery of the Deseted Cricket Ground’, click here
And to read ‘The Way Ahead – from EQMC to SGA’ about my new job, click here
Some musings 